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Wine for Halloween

Not another candy pairing


October is a hard month for those in the wine industry. It’s the peak of harvest time here in New York and a full month after the start of picking. Many wineries already have wines in the fermenter, some may even be finishing wines in the tank. Yet still more grapes are ready to come off of the vine. Rarely do I push harvest into November, which makes Halloween the closest holiday to line up with an end-of-season celebration. So, how do I celebrate America’s second largest retail holiday? I base character costumes on common wine tropes, of course!


Costume: The Matt. Twenty-one and lives at home. Works at the local vape shop. His long hair held in a low pony secured by his Naruto headband. That’s his costume. You’ll spot him by the way he runs, bent at the waist with stiff arms.

Wine: Blaufränkisch. It’ll be cooler later.


Costume: The Chris. The “I don’t really like Halloween, but I had to come to this party so I grabbed a bow tie” guy. He’s cool but unnecessarily showy.

Wine: $30 big box store Argentine Malbec. It’s the heavy bottle.


Costume: The Bridget and Antone: Forced couple costume. She’s in a red dress with Coca-Cola on it and matching red shoes that she clearly bought for the party. He is wearing an ill-fitting Jack Daniels tee. Like most Jack and Cokes, the Jack in this pair is selfish and tries to outshine the Coke.

Wine: $10 Rioja.


Costume: The Kyle: He’s in a demon skull face jester mask. Hoodie and jeans combo. Prime pumpkin smashing suspect, but spent the night smoking outside of the convenience store.

Wine: Take a break and have some cider. Preferably French or New York.


Costume: The Ashley. Business attire with a corset beneath the blazer. She’s wearing a feisty shade of lipstick. Starts out shy but gets progressively louder as the night goes on. She convinces a group to go for hot dogs after the party. Louie’s, of course.

Wine: Box rosé. Because no one should be ashamed of having fun.


Costume: The Stacy. Halloween is her time to shine. She lives for cosplay. This year, she has a hunch that mid-2000 Samurai cartoons are going to make a comeback. Don’t worry—she’ll tell you about it.

Wine: Chenin Blanc. Happy not being mainstream.


Costume: The New Mods. Kids dressed as the characters from Stranger Things who never break character. They care less about the candy than the response to their effort. We aren’t sure what kind of grown-ups they’ll be, but they’ll have an impact.

Wine: Obviously a cloudy Pet Nat. The ticket in to every cool kid party.


Costume: The Felicia. She’s an Aries. Her costumes are perfect reproductions from movies. The Bride from Kill Bill. Storm from X-Men. All three of Charlie’s Angels. Cliché, but the best of the lot.

Wine: Riesling. Riesling in all its forms. It’s always been cool, and always will be.



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