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FeedMovie Review: The Virginity Hit
Films opening this week:
Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga'Hoole - Maple Ridge; Market Arcade; McKinley Mall Dipson; Elmwood, Transit, Galleria, Hollywood Regals; Flix; Transit Drive-In
Lovely, Still - select times at Screening Room Cinema Cafe and HD Video Cafe
Mao's Last Dancer - Amherst Dipson; Eastern Hills Dipson
Metropolis - select times at Screening Room Cinema Cafe
The Virginity Hit - Transit & Quaker Regals
Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps - Maple Ridge; Amherst Dipson; Market Arcade; Elmwood, Transit, Galleria, Hollywood, Quaker Regals; Flix; Transit Drive-In
You Again - Maple Ridge; McKinley Mall Dipson; Elmwood, Transit, Galleria, Hollywood Regals; Flix
Writers Andrew Gurland and Huck Botko had decent success with The Last Exorcism last month, but did anyone know they also concocted a faux-documentary-style American Pie, eventually scooped up by Will Ferrell and Adam McKay’s Gary Sanchez Productions? The movie is called The Virginity Hit and the title is pretty much on the nose. It concerns four high school nerds and a pact to take a toke off their naked-woman-shaped bong once they cash in their V-cards. Shot on handheld cameras—sometimes grainy, sometimes really grainy—we are observe the antics of Zack, Justin, and Jacob.
First things first—the aesthetic and concept is spot-on. Everyone involved is an actor, and nothing about that is secret—though these kids may be a bit too geeky to believe as partyers constantly hanging out with attractive young ladies; Justin Kline’s 'stache is the kind you’d recognize as a big mistake instantly, and it's hard to believe Matt Bennett could score a girl like Nicole Weaver.
However, once the novelty of the exercise wears off, the film spirals into a boredom-inducing monotony of events that rarely gets past sketch comedy. There are speakers and cameras set up to capture Matt’s first time, a frat party’s stripper refusing to leave as she attempts to glean breakfast and some extra cash, and kids break into a friend's house while her father chases them around, threatening to call the cops. Nothing is sacred, and the the guise of reality somehow renders it all somewhat insensitive.
The actors do deserve credit for putting themselves in not-so-flattering situations. Of the four friends, Zack Pearlman definitely has a Jonah Hill/Seth Rogen appeal (take note, Judd Apatow). And then there is David Jensen’s fantastic turn as Nicole’s father; Savannah Welch’s Becca; porn star Sunny Leone, lending some sage wisdom to a boy who used her visage in behind closed doors stimulation for many years; and John McLeaish’s skivvy Innkeeper, who leaves his best lines for the end credits.
I sincerely hope The Virginity Hit finds an audience and success for taking a gamble and being victorious. I’m just not sure I’d be one to tell my friends to go see it.
The Virginity Hit 5/10
photography:
[1] Matt Bennett in Columbia Pictures' comedy "The Virginity Hit."
[2] Zack Pearlman in Columbia Pictures' comedy "The Virginity Hit."
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