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Entourage style

“The whole point of the bridesmaid’s dress was to complement the bride, not upstage her,” my mother said. “That’s how it was done in the fifties: full skirts that never dipped below the ankle, a fitted waist, and a neckline that showed there was a bust, without showing it. Pointy bras. You had to have a pointy bra. Yes,” she said, returning from bridesmaid memory lane, “it really wasn’t about us.” Exactly, I thought, brushing away a pesky image of conical brassieres. How had we drifted so far from the tradition of Bride First to spend the next four decades outfitting a runway of big sisters and BFFs in enough yards of Victorian poof and lace, untamable polyester, sherbet pastels, and stop-the-train teal, to elbow Her Highness off center stage? Today’s bride has made a break from the Little House on the Prairie and Best Little Whorehouse in Texas looks of my generation to take a direct bead on the one before. She is putting her ladies-in-waiting in shorter taffetas and silk crepes of mineral tones and vivid dyes, aspiring for theater-worthy undergarments. The result? The bride and her gown rule once again. Embrace it, brides-to-be. There is a reason designer Karolina Spousa refers to them on her website simply as “maids.” There is room for only one Queen Scarlett, Grace, Beyonce, Carrie, Portia, or Fergie in the room, and, if you’re the bride, it had better be you. For this, make sure your bridesmaids’ dress is a little less negligee-charmeusy and more Mad Men dupioni, less prommy pop and more architectural; less what your big sister did and more you. Cultured and crisp is back. Long live cultured and crisp.

Clockwise from black dress: dresses by Ann Taylor, Bari Jay, and Alfred Angelo.

When it comes to choosing a dress, the cultured and crisp part is easy. Retailers, couture designers, and bridal specialists all offer refined fare with exceptional options at the tea-to-cocktail-length hemline. Monique Lhuillier’s silk dupionis shimmer and shine in sunburst and ice blue sheaths made even more grown up (but no less gorgeous and spirited) by couture belting and necklines, from one-shouldered to bateau (moniquelhuillier.com). Vera Wang came on strong this season with lamé and satins in colors of amethyst and any hue found at your favorite coffee shop (verawangonweddings.com). Badgley Mischka has a champagne spaghetti strap taffeta that any tuxedo would be honored to accompany (badgleymischka.com). The same is true of Bill Levkoff’s designs (billlevkoff.com). His European satin dress in European latte is so perfectly American, as rich in color as it is in movement. Belsoie has a scoop neck in an emerald green that will make you catch your breath, but the color is deep enough not to steal the show. David’s Bridal has an updated retro in solid and printed shantung, a heavier spun wild silk with substance, and modernizes a short brocade dress in shimmering gold (davidsbridal.com). Alfred Angelo offers plenty of cocktail-length dresses, but I kept returning to the energetic detail in his blue satin dress with large florals. This and the Bari Jay short petal-skirt Vienna satin strapless begged for large wonderful pearls and other white accessories, or a delicate, bright, and striking hand piece, like a Dior ring from the Milly Carnivora collection, worn over a silky white short glove and held like a bouquet.

“I think they should all be in little black dresses,” the man behind the counter at my corner coffee shop suggests. I’m sure he would be most appreciative of one offered by Bill Levkoff. It is a satin black dress that is form fitting but gathered and pleated to flatter. Although this one is so hot it runs the risk of overshadowing the bride, I know it can be done right. And I got so excited when I saw the J. Crew silk taffeta Clementine dress next to its monde dress that I needed someone’s wedding to plan (jcrew.com). When Ann Taylor’s site provided the same rush, I realized that both companies seemed inspired by Monique Lhuillier enough to keep the dressing sharp, shiny, and minimalist. This lets the bride focus on shoes, jewels, and pop. Yes, smart is all over the place. Being a bridesmaid is no longer only about the dreaded dress.

Here’s one final recommendation: you, the bride, are the fashion designer and your bridesmaids are your runway models. Runway models don’t choose their own jewelry. Runway models should want to have done to their hair whatever the designer asks. If you think of it as runway, then you might be able to come up with that personal something that won’t look kitschy. Runway is fast, invigorating, beautiful, and thrilling, but it is also extremely controlled. The only true star is the designer, and so it should be with the bride, so take time to think. It could be anything, like a silk organza wrap for each girl, closed by your sorority or favorite charity pin. If you are known for wearing layers and layers of necklaces or an oversized man-Swatch, then recreate the look for each bridesmaid. Do you have a purse obsession? The gloved ladies in waiting could carry flowers down the aisle not in a traditional bouquet, but resting to the side, sticking out of matching It bags. Or replace a bouquet with a jeweled minaudiere just big enough for your Berry or iPhone, worn on a long, over-shoulder strap that allows it to hang against a short satin sheath dress. Maybe shoes are your thing. Each bridesmaid could wear a different Blahnik or Choo. All of these things are possible if the dress is kept simple. There are amazing couture hats with half-veils. Maybe there are couples out there whose attendants could pull off tougher assignments, like aviator or Hollywood sunglasses, identical wigs, small temporary tattoos that match the bride’s and/or groom’s, or driving gloves labeled with a dream sportscar or Harley insignia. Not that brave or interesting? Then work with matching big statement jewelry or a different brooch from a special matron’s jewelry box pinned to each gal. Whatever it is, it has to be something that will make the guests say, “Ahhh, well done” or smile because they so totally get it.

From left: dresses from Badgley Mischka, two from David’s Bridal, two from J. Crew, and Monique Lhuillier.

 Catherine Berlin is a writer, photographer, and lawyer, raising children and a husband in Buffalo. Growing up around the Great Lakes, she has also spent time in California and Arizona, and currently has a second home in Sweden.