Holy underrated grapes!
A comic parody for wine geeks
By Mark Criden
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Tim Drake, the latest boy wonder, sneers back. “That wasn’t funny the first time I heard it, Batman. It ain’t funny now.”
The caped crusader rubs his aching biceps, and ponders the wisdom of Charles Schultz: I love mankind; it’s people I can’t stand. “What is it now, Tim? Girls?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“School?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“The Joker?”
“I said I don’t want to talk about it.”
Batman shrugs and removes his cowl. At his best, Bruce Wayne is not a tolerant man. “Rich kid, beloved crime fighter. Sucks being you.”
Drake aims his jaw at Wayne. “You wanna know what sucks? I’ll tell you what sucks. Being number two. That’s what sucks.”
The dark knight has spent the night battling Killer Croc and is in no mood for a pity party. “You’re thinking the billing should be ‘Robin and Batman’?”
Drake laughs sourly. “As if I’m not always gonna be the sidekick.“
Wayne grits his teeth; patience is not his long suit, and it’s already been a long, crappy night. “Robin …”
“Your second banana, the second stringer.”
“It’s not as bad as all that.”
Tim snorts at him. “Try telling that to Tonto.”
The world’s greatest detective stares at his young companion, and then snaps his fingers. When Alfred Pennyworth appears, Wayne whispers instructions. Moments later, the butler returns with a silver tray bearing wine bottles and glasses. Bruce Wayne rips a corkscrew from his utility belt, and goes to work on the stoppers.
“I’m a very wealthy man, Tim. I could drink fancy, expensive wines every night. Lafite on Sundays, Montrachet on Monday. Two hundred dollars a bottle, five hundred dollars a bottle: who cares? I’ve got the dough. But what have I always tried to teach you?’
“Watch out for Two-Face?”
“That … and never confuse money with taste. Nowhere is that more true than in the wine world.”
He pours and hands a glass to Tim.
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“So we don’t tell the Comics Code Authority. So you just take a sip. So you begin to understand that some of the most fascinating, soulful wines around have long been regarded as number twos. Take the wine you’ve just tasted. It comes from the Northern Italian district of Piedmont, where the Nebbiolo grape produces storied, expensive wines like Barolo and Barbaresco.
“But the winemakers of Northern Italy can hardly afford to drink their treasures every night, and wouldn’t want to if they could. So for everyday enjoyment and comfort they turn to two other more approachable, younger-drinking wines, Barbera and Dolcetto.
“You think it’s hard being number two? Well, think about poor Dolcetto, the third most important grape in Piedmont. Dolcetto is actually a dry red, but its name, ‘little sweet one,’ reflects the wine’s intensely fruity character. A simple, easygoing wine, Dolcetto at its best exhibits bright, vibrant grapey aromas and plummy, jammy fruit flavors, with a slightly bitter finish.”
“I know slightly bitter.”
“I get it, Tim. Often referred to as the ‘Beaujolais of Italy,’ Dolcetto’s low acidity and tannins make it ideal with antipasti, risotto, polenta, and pasta. Naturally, it’s made for drinking young—within a year or two of the vintage—although some of the best Piedmontese producers make a more serious, richer style which can improve with age for as long as five years.”
Batman snaps his fingers and Alfred hands him and Tim glasses of white wine.
“You don’t have to be red to suffer from a second-best rap, kiddo. Take Aligoté, Burgundy’s perennial backseat white, trailing Chardonnay by a wide margin in both prestige and profitability. While Chardonnay gets planted in the finest vineyards and aged in the best oak barrels to produce powerful, long-lived wines, Aligoté is relegated to lesser plots of land and indifferent winemaking. As a result, it often produces thin, raspingly acidic wines whose primary virtue is their short life. The only glamour Aligoté enjoyed was when it added a bit of verve and bite to crème de cassis to make Kir, or to champagne for Kir Royale.”
“And this is supposed to cheer me up, how?”
“In southern Burgundy, Aubert de Villaine has led a quiet Aligoté revolution. De Villaine, who also runs Burgundy’s most hallowed estate, the Domaine de la Romanee Conti, has shown that Aligoté from his village of Bouzeron produces beautifully balanced, nutty, lemony wines with zingy acidity. There are few things that marry better than soft-shelled crabs and Aligoté.”
“Okay, so not all back-benchers stink,“ Tim says. “But we’re never gonna get the respect you superstars do.”
Wayne nods to Alfred, who turns with a slight smile and produces two more glasses of red, handing one to each costumed hero.“This beauty, Tim, is Barbera, which is cultivated throughout Italy, but sings loudest and loveliest in the Piedmontese hills around Alba and Asti. There, Barolo and Barbaresco producers cultivate it as a more accessible, earlier-maturing choice than the Nebbiolo based wines which are normally hard and stern when young.“
Tim crosses his arms.
“I’m talking about the wine, Tim, not you. While the best Barberas provide a rich, powerful, lush, intense mouthful, the grape’s most notable feature is its tangy acidity, which has always made it the perfect companion for tomato sauce. In fact, Barbera is the ideal red for most hearty foods. No other wine has the versatility to harmonize with sausages, salami, pizza, or steak with equal aplomb.
“And no other wine has undergone such a style revolution in the past twenty years. Many producers still fashion beautiful examples of old-style Barbera, but in the early eighties, winemaker Giacomo Bologna realized that aging the wine in new French barrels can soften the grape’s acidity and add vanilla and spice flavors. Today, many of Piedmont’s greatest Barberas are made in the style Bologna pioneered, such as the wines of La Spinetta, Braida, Coppo, and Altare’s Vigna Larigi. And, Tim, at the summit is one of the world’s very greatest wines, Roberto Voerzio’s Barbera Riserva Vigneto Pozzo dell’Annunziata, which, at $150 per bottle, equals the price of almost any other world-class wine.”
Tim Drake smiles for the first time all night. He raises his glass and toasts, “To Sancho Panza and Dr. Watson and even Ron Weasley, Barbera is inspiration for second fiddles everywhere.”
“And Tim, if Barbera doesn’t convince you, just remember the man regarded as the patron saint of sidekicks everywhere.”
“Me, Bruce?” Tim beams.
“Not quite, Tim. Dick Cheney.”
Mark Criden (mcriden@yahoo.com) a non-profit executive, is former chair of the
Buffalo branch of the IWFS.
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RECOMMENDED SIDEKICKS
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Barbera—the name of both the grape and the wine—is pretty easy to understand. The wine is identified by a village name (Barbera d’Asti, Barbera d’Alba) and occasionally a vineyard name, but as in all things, the producer is of paramount importance. Easily drinkable when released, good examples—whether traditional or aged in French barrels—will age with considerable grace over a five-year horizon. Right now, the uncommonly rich 2003s dominate the marketplace. I’d avoid the weak 2002 but 2000 and 2001s are still good bets.
Great Barbera is almost sinfully easy to find. Expect to spend $10-$25 for the following delicious normale bottlings, most of which come from great Barolo and Barbaresco producers: Giacomo Conterno, Aldo Conterno, Enzo Boglietti, Bruno Giacosa, Bovio, Domenico Clerico, Paolo Scavino, Elio Altare, Vittorio Bera & Figli, La Spinetta, Vietti, Luciano Sandrone, Albino Rocca, Prunotto (Fiulot and Pian Romualdo bottlings), Elvio Cogno, Conterno Fantino, Cortese, Gianfranco Alessandria, Renato Corino, Moccagatta, Mauro Molino, Giorgio Pelissero, Riccardo Seghesio, Codero di Montezemolo, Elio Grasso, Brovia, Mauro Veglio. The following world-class Barberas will set you back more than $50. While these are usually richer and classier than the above bottlings, whether they go better with tonight’s dinner is strictly up to you. Altare Vigna Larigi, Hastae Quorum, Franco Martinetti Sul Bric and Montruc, Braida di Giacomo Bologna Bigotta, Bricco dell’Uccellone and Ai Suma, Prunotto Costamiole, Coppo Pomorosso and Riserva della Familia, Voerzio ‘Pozzo dell’Annunziata.’ Prices top out at $300 per magnum for Roberto Voerzio’s Barbera Riserva Vigneto Pozzo dell’Annunziata; call me if you’re opening some. Dolcetto is also both a grape and a wine, but selection is even easier than it is with Barbera because there’s no division between traditionalists and oakaholics.Though advocates insist that Dolcetti can age for up to five years, I’d steer clear of all but the 2003s and 2004s now in the market, which yield numerous sumptuous examples. Although it’s possible to spend up to $40 for these wines, there’s usually little reason to exceed $20. My Dolcetto hit parade includes Luigi Pira, Bartolo Mascarello, Paolo Scavino, Bovio, Enrico e Marziano Abbona Abbona, Domenico Clerico, Brovia, Fratelli Pecchenino, Giacomo Conterno, Conterno Fantino, Luigi Einaudi, Roberto Voerzio, Elvio Cogno, Claudio Alario, Brovia, Albino Rocca, Bruno Giacosa, Brovia, Marcarini, Vietti, Prunotto, Giuseppe Mascarello, Aldo Conterno, Elio Grasso, Elio Altare, Vietti, Giorgio Pelissero. Aligoté lovers also ought to stick with recent vintages, but Burgundy as a whole had a fabulous 2002, and these wines are still drinking well if properly stored. 2003 produced fatter, richer wines, and, while not as classic as the older vintage, can yield fine drinking from the right producers. The gold standard in Aligote is Aubert de Villaine’s Aligote Bouzeron, imported by Kermit Lynch, which should set you back $15-$20. Other fine producers include Arnaud Ente, Pierre Morey, Dureuil-Janthial, Bruno Clavelier, Robert Jayer-Gilles, Coche-Dury, Remi Jobard, Alice et Olivier de Moor, and Domaine D’Auvenay. |
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