Meet your candidates:
The Race to Succeed Joel is on!
By the Guy on the 13th Floor
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Illustration by J.P. Thimot.
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Eight years ago, the Buffalo News endorsed Joel Giambra over incumbent Dennis Gorski using an argument that went something like this: Gorski was a good manager who brought the county out of fiscal chaos and has established a well run, stable government, but the man is boring. Giambra is not boring. Well, they were right. Giambra hasn’t been boring.
If you think about it, whoever wins will have a great 2008. Since Giambra is about as popular as that thing you just scraped off your shoe, his successor should be in great shape for a while. That—a brief period of popularity before the inevitable phase of crashing disappointment and subsequent howls of execration—seems to be reason enough to attract a cavalcade of candidates.
For the most part, the candidates fall into five different categories:
1. Those threatening to run. These folks don’t actually want to be county executive. (Who could blame them?) Instead, they hope nobody else wants them to be county executive either, and that someone will take care of them with another job just to be sure. The first to succeed with this strategy was Dave Swarts, the eternal county clerk and occasional candidate for something other than county clerk. It’s not so much that Swarts would have been a bad county executive; it’s just that everyone knew he was really angling to replace Nancy Naples as State DMV Commissioner (what child growing up doesn’t dare to dream?). So his threatened candidacy could have meant wasted endorsements. Dan Ward is in the same boat, but as of yet has not been threatening enough to be handed another job. Ward, the Democrats’ last nominee, wasn’t supposed to win then and isn’t being taken seriously now. That’s OK, he just wants to be a judge. Then there’s Jimmy Griffin. His candidacy is also a threat, but unlike Swarts and Ward, nobody knows what he really wants. Which brings us to …
2. The candidates who aren’t actually running. The leader of this pack is Assemblyman Sam Hoyt. Hoyt has been rumored to run for higher office for years. This time the difference is that apparently he is not the source of the rumors. Nobody has issued so many press releases announcing he’s not taking another job as Hoyt. He made news when he said he wasn’t running for Louise Slaughter’s seat back in 2002 and for mayor in 2005. He even got ink when he said he wasn’t taking a job (which wasn’t offered in the first place) in the Spitzer administration. (There are all sorts of jobs we haven’t pursued, and this has never been the subject of a news report.) Nonetheless, Western New Yorkers seem captivated by what Hoyt isn’t going to do. Another non-candidate, Satish Mohan, who actually is the leading candidate in some polls, is showing more signs of stepping down and getting out of politics than running for higher office. That’s too bad because we like saying the name, “Satish.” County Control Board chair Anthony Baynes is rumored to be a possible Republican candidate. There are three problems with this rumor. First, why would Baynes take a step down? It isn’t called a control board for nothing. Second, the man is not a Republican. Third, like Hoyt and Mohan he has shown no sign of running. In that respect he differs from …
3. Those who, god help us, are running. West Seneca Supervisor Paul Clark wants to do for Erie County what he’s done for West Seneca. (The fact that nobody knows what that is hasn’t slowed him down.) The other actual candidate is “Mr. Former” Jim Keane. Keane is former everything. Fans of Jurassic Park could only hope for a battle between Keane and Griffin, but unlike the resurrected T-Rexes we’re not sure if these dinosaurs have any teeth left. Then there’s County Legislature Chair Lynn Marinelli. Marinelli seems to be running but hasn’t actually declared. This has been her style all along—cautious indecision. After a while people stop caring, and that has worked out OK for her as a legislator. Maybe not the best campaign strategy, though. Which leads us to …
4. The “dream” candidates. Dream candidates are really a subset of candidates not actually running. The difference is, someone actually wants them to. First on this list is Judge Henry Nowak. Nowak is the Democrat’s version of the “Great Young Hope.” Rumored to be a favorite of Democratic Headquarters, he has two qualities going for him: a name famous to the generation that actually still respects politicians but unknown to the generation that doesn’t, and a career in public service that doesn’t involve any unpopular votes. The Republican version of Nowak is Chris Jacobs. If Nowak is an established name in the political class, Jacobs is an established name in the established class. But since Jacobs seems incapable of actually winning elections (he’s lost for county legislature, state senator, and lieutenant governor), some Republican eyes turn to U.B. administrator Marsha Henderson or Assemblyman Jim Hayes. Both are smart people. Why would Henderson give up a genteel job in the Ivory Tower and deal with people wearing red coats and toting cameras on a daily basis? Hayes has a similar lack of motivation to give up an even safer job in which, as a minority party legislator, he can take whatever position he wants without any fear of actually affecting policy. So while others can keep on dreaming, we have our own short list of …
5. Candidates we’d like to see. Alan Hevesi has won tougher elections than this. Oh Alan, please move up to Erie County and run on the Adult Supervision Party line. Don’t worry about that little scandal that brought you down in Albany; this is, after all, the county that elected Joel Giambra twice. We were surprised not to see Kevin Gaughan’s name as a rumored candidate for this election. He’s usually good as the comic relief candidate in at least one election per year. Just because we’ll miss his smile, we’d sort of like to see him run. (We also think it would be interesting to see a fictional character run.)
But do you know who we really want to see as County Executive? Dennis Gorski. Go back to that Buffalo News endorsement. Sure, it was for the other guy, but you know Gorski was good when the worst criticism he got was for balancing the budget, establishing fiscal stability, and managing well. We want Gorski! Boring is back—yeah, baby!
The Guy on the 13th Floor is currently contemplating his own candidacy for county executive. The main plank of his platform would be changing the name of the office. Byron gets to be called “Mayor,” Eliot “Governor,” and George “President.” The county is the only division of government headed by a job description. The second plank? Change the spelling of “Erie” to “Eerie” because that would be cool. He’s writing a press release now, which includes information on various offices he is not seeking.
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