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Blogging with a side of gossip
By Jennifer Wutz-Lopes

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There’s nothing better than wasting a bit of time at work or home with the blogs that give you the goods. Of course, I would never waste time at work, that’s totally against my work ethic, but I know that most of you out there are total slackers and do as little actual work as possible, right? Especially when there’s so much fun to be had on the internet. Maybe you don’t use the net all that much. Or you really do work at work. Whatever. When you have some downtime and need a little bit of fluff on what nutty celebrity is doing what ridiculous thing, check out these blogs, heavy with lots of gossip.

• Totally obnoxious and proud of it is Perez Hilton (perezhilton.com), the self-proclaimed “Queen of all Media.” Hilton—real name Mario Lavandiera—is just so good at being bitchy that you’ll become addicted to his blog posts, most of which include snapshots of his targets that he has captioned or doodled on. He was recently the target of a lawsuit from the attorneys of actor Colin Farrell after he posted a link to a sex tape starring the actor. Not one to care much for threats, Hilton fought back with on-line taunts and poems written to Farrell. Blogging daily, sometimes all day, he gives his view on celebrity life as he sees it, and narrates the interactions he has with some stars he’s bashed in the past, humorously, when they confront him at his “office” (a coffee shop in LA with free wi-fi). I sign on everyday to see who he’s befriended and who he has cut out. Paris Hilton is supposedly a good friend, while Lindsay Lohan is on the list of ex-friends. As an out gay man, Hilton has come under fire for speculating on the sexuality of some stars, and claims at least partial responsibility for the outing of N’Sync singer Lance Bass and ex-Doogie Howser actor Neil Patrick Harris. Love him or hate him, Perez Hilton is like a trainwreck … and you just can’t look away.

The Superficial’s tagline is “Because You’re Ugly,” but does that refer to the readers or the people profiled on the site? Oh, who cares! All-out mockery is the goal here, and blog posts are updated daily by a team of anonymous sarcastics. Recent posts include a snapshot of actress Brittany Murphy looking a bit ruffled, titled with the caption “Brittany Murphy Might Be Insane,” complete with coverage of the actress’s reported fears of being stalked by a high-powered Hollywood executive. Another post that I loved is “Paris Hilton is a Liar,” that offers a comparison of Hilton’s recent claims to Larry King that she has never in her life done drugs, and a link to a video of the same Paris Hilton smoking marijuana. Maybe she is a liar. Decide for yourself at thesuperficial.com.

Gallery of the Absurd (galleryoftheabsurd.typepad.com), a fabulous blog that skewers celebrity culture, features original paintings by San Francisco-based artist known as “Fourteen,” but with a slant. On the blog, Fourteen describes herself as illustrating “the sordid world of gossip and slander while trying to keep a straight face.” Check out her not-drunk, not-on-meds, just high-on-life illustration and back story of Paula Abdul, and Alec Baldwin as a Daddy Dearest Talking Doll (he says “You’re a rude pig” when you pull his string). My recent favorite is a scary-toothed Rachel Ray extolling the benefits of a balanced diet that includes lots and lots of Dunkin’ Donuts and EVOO. Fourteen knows that she is not making friends with the celebrities she paints, but she’s having too much fun to stop now.

• Providing a “recommended daily dose” of celebrity gossip is A Socialite’s Life (socialitelife.com). Whether it’s a report on Matthew McConaughey on the set of his new movie as a “crazy-eyed shirtless surfer,” the new, 500-K closet Victoria Beckham had installed at her home, or the major fit Penelope Cruz just threw on a flight to Barcelona, these bloggers serve it up, snarky-style. One headline that just made me laugh out loud was “Crazy Astronaut Lady Claims There Was No Diaper.” How can you not love that?

• Whose babies are wearing cashmere onesies and sucking on diamond-encrusted pacifiers? Who threw their one-year old a party complete with a carousel, pony rides, and gourmet mac-and-cheese with truffles? Who just lets their kids play with the pots and pans and a wooden spoon, like the rest of us schlubs? Find out at The Celebrity Baby Blog (celebrity-babies.com), written by about a dozen women from all over the world. These bloggers are usually the first to know if a celebrity’s baby bump is really a baby or just too much foie gras from the night before. The Celebrity Baby Blog reports on who uses a nanny, who needs lots of nannies, and who just takes care of their own kids themselves (Keri Russell, Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck). Did you know that Elizabeth Hurley likes to dress up her little boy in girls’ clothes? Were you aware that Drea de Matteo (The Sopranos’ Adrianna) is expecting a baby girl in December? Well, now you’re in the know. Let’s face it, putting a boy named Damian in a dress is kind of funny, and I was actually hoping for a baby boy for Drea, just so she could perhaps name him “Chris-ta-fah.” I really miss Adrianna and Chris-ta-fah. And Tony, Carmela, and even Meadow.

Jennifer Wutz-Lopes likes to reads Star magazine and watch Sopranos reruns on HBO On-Demand. She lives in Lockport with her husband and son and blogs at Jen14221.com


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